Real women wear high heels and skirts. Or not.
Real women are feminine and smell good and they are masculine and smell good and they are androgynous and smell good, except when they don’t smell so good, but that can be changed if desired because real women change stuff when they want to.
Real women have ovaries. Unless they don’t, and sometimes they don’t because they were born that way and sometimes they don’t because they had to have their ovaries removed. Real women have uteruses, unless they don’t, see above. Real women have vaginas and clitorises and XX sex chromosomes and high estrogen levels, they ovulate and menstruate and can get pregnant and have babies. Except sometimes not, for a rather spectacular array of reasons both spontaneous and induced.
Real women are fat. And thin. And both, and neither, and otherwise. Doesn’t make them any less real.
via xinxang:
As a female, I feel entitled to rewrite this insipid piece of sexist trash into something a little more suited to the exact nuances of my COMPLEX FEMALE BRAIN. Warning: This may be a little difficult to understand, and I am more than likely to be using my wacky feminine wiles on you BECUZ I NEED U 2 HOLD MEH and I JUS WANTOBE LUVED.
Nothing, forget it. = Nothing, forget it / Derp, never mind.
Are you tired? = I’m wondering if you are tired.
I’m okay = I am awesome.
I don’t give a fuck anymore = I no longer give any fucks. All the fucks have been given.
I’m cold = The ambient temperature is lower than I’d like it to be.
Leave me alone = Leave me alone.
I love you = You are either Sam Harris or a fictional character written by Joss Whedon.
I just…need to reblog this. <3
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
ok.I agree with the revised version so much. Jesus Christ, we’re independent. We don’t always need someone. Sometimes what we say is what we actually mean. smh.
I just need this on my dash
(Source: stiffisfroze)
“I owe Marilyn Monroe a real debt. It was because of her that I played the Mocambo, a very popular nightclub in the ’50s. She personally called the owner of the Mocambo (who had refused to book Fitzgerald because she was black), and told him she wanted me booked immediately, and if he would do it, she would take a front table every night. She told him - and it was true, due to Marilyn’s superstar status - that the press would go wild. The owner said yes, and Marilyn was there, front table, every night. The press went overboard… After that, I never had to play a small jazz club again. She was an unusual woman - a little ahead of her times. And she didn’t know it.”
-Ella Fitzgerald
Here is a tiny violin, which I will now play for all the doods who can’t catch a break, seeing as we ladies have not come to a sex-wide consensus on what we like and how we want to be treated on dates. Alas, for now you will have to get to know us on an individual level.Oh, you know that had to be an automatic reblog.
In all fairness, her ass is HOT PINK.
Um. I’m just going to go ahead and hope that the camera caught him at an awkward angle. Ahem.
}
